Old Man Sleeping on Porch

Some day’s I am just exhausted. I wake up exhausted and it just goes down hill. You forget about a meeting, forget stuff at home, and everything just seems to go against you. It is tiring being tired. Our society is so driven that many of us all feel it. I can find myself going through the emotional roller coaster through these times. One minute grouchy then next minute depressed. So I take nap, just to wake up more tired and stressed as when it began. Is this life? The abundant life Jesus speaks of? I hope its not.

I am continually in search of finding margin in my life. Extra room to navigate and manage the day. Time just to do nothing, or just time to clear my thoughts. It is hard looking for that, cancel a meeting that can be rescheduled, don’t take on an extra task for the day. Setting up boundaries has been a huge part of my new career. I don’t want to be burned out, I don’t want to be exhausted, I don’t want to be spiritually and emotionally unhealthy. Yet, that’s where I often find myself.

Ecclesiastes really speaks to me here. I love this verse, Ecclesiastes 4:6: Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. It’s nice to have an extra hand be ready to pick up things. Extra time to live life, to be at peace with everything. My soul, my heart, is not at peace. I hope to find more of that this year. More peace, more quiet, more time to plug in with the God of the universe. More time to smile, more time to laugh and to chase after my passions.

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